I know you are exhausted with your inner life at times. It seems to demand an inexorable amount of energy. I totally get this. I go through this too. Some days it takes sheer will to stay devoted to your path. Each day brings a myriad of opportunities to participate in low vibe outbursts (check), satisfying but costly eye rolls (check), or simply the feeling that bed is the only safe place to be (check). Check.
If you are in an active love relationship with a mate of any kind right now, godspeed. I could just end this post right there. I sincerely wish you (and me) very well. This is especially the case if you and said mate have not already trolled the depths of human relational misery and worked out those kinks in a real and meaningful manner by this point. We’ve incarnated and fallen in love at a very potent time on the planet.
Even IF you have taken a flashlight to those shadows together you may be getting surprised right now with what is returning for another go-round, another even deeper review and clarification. It’s almost unbelievable to me how much human living is spent unwinding karmic patterns in the presence of a beloved ‘other’. Which brings me to my point.
If you have not already arrived to the fundamental understanding that your mate IS you on some level. I recommend you get that nailed down now. Once you do this things will get a whole lot smoother and make a lot more sense to you. NOTE: For this post, I am not addressing those of you in highly dysfunctional situations where someone or both of you are acting out in dangerous or criminal ways (although the same truths apply with deeper teaching needed). I am addressing the most common relationship challenges.
Here it is: When you agreed to come to the earth this time, by soul contract or blueprint you brought with you that which was not quite resolved (evolved) from other existences. You also brought attributes and accomplishments you would need here in ole earth school which is often my sweet relief. You are after all, ascending/evolving/growing through this human kingdom. It is what we do here otherwise we do not come.
You also need to grasp the Law of One. Right now. Simply put, there is nothing that is not you. Or everything is you. Same difference. Your sovereignty this life time hinges on your adoption of this construct and your ability to ACT on it. Every day. As often during the day as you can. No, not just in yoga class, at the meditation center or during a reiki session. All the time. At work, at PTA, the grocery store and on the freeway. It will take practice.
A word on becoming sovereign. I can’t stress enough how this very word is triggering you right this moment. It is laden with magnetizing vibratory encodement– as all form (and words are manifest form) is, to set your consciousness on a path towards it. Reread what I wrote there. Sovereignty IS a condition for passing through a 3rd dimensional living experience into a unity consciousness manifest fourth density/fifth dimensional life experience while in the body your soul is wearing right at the moment.
All this said, you attracted (magnetized) and are holding your mate in your holographic template as an aspect of yourself you are working on now. You did this by usually unconscious choice, but choice none-the-less. Claim your responsibility for doing so as quickly as possible. Next time you will be even more conscious of your mate choice but guess what, you will still be surprised at the shadow aspects that will come flying up at you with that one too. This is the third dimensional relationship life.
When you do as I have suggested above something truly miraculous happens. NO not every one lives happily ever after with their mate. That’s pretty much a pile of programming crap. What WILL happen is that you become exquisitely responsible for your choices in that relationship. THIS is the miracle. You become devoted to yourself, your embodied soul-self, in new ways: communicating with as much love, forgiveness and compassion you can muster. Yes, on some days that’s not much. I know. But the more you practice, I promise, the better it gets.
You will naturally become less interested in what they did TO you or what they said TO you or what was not done etc. When you see your mate as yourself you become increasingly devoted to self love and its full expression. You begin to get curious about what aspects of yourself are being mirrored to you for healing. You will start acting differently toward said mate. When you do so, you are healing the condition of yourself that you brought to this lifetime and needed to heal/recover.
What I’ve noticed personally and have seen in friends and clients over the last couple years is that once you hop off that frequency or ‘song sheet’ that you were on before– arguments, frustration– the usual suspects of suffering– the ‘other’ starts appearing differently to you. You will ask yourself if something has changed in them. No, something has changed in YOU.
I’ve seen couples resolve and grow closer in this process and I’ve seen people split in this process. Both are beautiful choices as they are a perfect reflection of who you came to be and what life on earth is all about today at this time in the human condition. What I can see in my own experience is that new intimacy can grow. I can also see that when the soul contract with the mate is complete, they move out of our lives. We move them out naturally and with tons less drama. Unless of course, you are still exploring drama as a human motif. If that’s the case, you’ll have plenty of it.
I hope this post has strung a few constructs together that can be practically meaningful for you today. I write this as I do everything with my love. – Amber
Please take a moment to set up a session with me should any of this need support. We are all in varying places in our consciousness growth and spiritual practice. I am here as a professional and experienced mirror for you.