Our kind often has trouble with hate. As healers, wayshowers, lightworkers, gridworkers and other highly sensitive awakened people we often avoid acknowledging the low vibratory and dense personal experience of hate. What follows is my own experience with it and how it transformed my life.
In writing this post I’m hopeful that you are acknowledging and then healing this very common planetary emotional construct in the third dimension. As with all energy manifestations, hate is only light defined as shadow content, but light nonetheless.
I now understand that in avoiding the subject of hate, we make ourselves vulnerable to exploring a severe limit to our own power to come into self love. And it is exactly self love that triggers engagement with Unity and Christ Consciousness in these times of planetary fifth and beyond ascension.
Twenty years ago Isabelle told me that I could not know love if I did not know hate. She was one of my consciousness teachers for about twenty five years. As a highly aware, compassionate and perceiving soul I resisted her proposal and balked at any idea that I was capable of hate.
She pointed to extremely painful experiences with humans in my childhood and asked “didn’t you hate the people involved?” No, I did not I told her. I understood them. As an awakened child I knew why they acted the way they did. I was one of those souls who was able to thrive in childhood even in the face of family turmoil.
Then it happened. As I turned forty I lost my best friend. We had known each other since age eighteen. I lost her not to death but to our own subconscious choices to move away from each other and explore other parts of living.
That is a very nice way to describe what occurred. The change was sudden. For me it was quietly violent. It affected me in ways that took years to understand. Then one day it hit me. I hated her. Big time.
I had been trying NOT to hate her for years. We made sad halfhearted attempts to stay connected in a new way, from a distance. Isabelle asked me when the events occurred if my love for my friend “broke”. I was hopeful it had not, so said “no” but I distinctly recall I was not telling the truth.
When the day came that I realized I hated her I simply stopped connecting. It was painful to hate her but it became more painful to pretend that I didn’t. Once I realized that I had discovered hate, I called Isabelle and told the truth as I now knew it. That call came about five years after the events had unfolded, now twelve years ago.
Through that experience, now mostly healed, I was propelled to new heights for setting healthier limits and boundaries on my relationships, especially those from childhood. While I did not experience hate from childhood experiences the way Isabelle suggested, I most assuredly now responded to those events in a number of new ways.
One way was to narrow others’ access to my life and energy. I am now extremely thoughtful about who is in my life and why. I manage my energetic field with much more awareness now. I protect my energy body on a daily basis depending on the day’s events and various settings.
Within two years of the difficult loss of my friendship I married a man who, in addition to all of his traits, has incredibly tight boundaries. Sometimes overly so. By living with him and witnessing him, he has taught me a lot about what it means to properly care for myself relative to other humans. He is the first generation child of a Holocaust survivor. He knows of what humans are capable.
While he can be compassionate and forgiving he has elected to stay fairly shuttered to avoid what he would consider intrusion from others. At times he serves to protect my interests even when I do not perceive particular risk. While I am still prone to be quite inclusive and engaged with others, this experience has been life changing. For the better.
As a highly aware and empathic ‘Service to Others’ soul I am naturally motivated and devoted by blueprint design to love and accept humans as they are. My compassion and forgiveness is unlimited. If you are reading this I suspect this is the truth for you too.
It is notoriously difficult for our kind to figure out how to balance our human need to create a sovereign and healthy life when we are designed within a Service to Others construct. My experience of hate, while one of the most painful adult lessons I’ve experienced this lifetime, has been an important teacher. Isabelle was right. I could not fully understand the power of love, particularly self love until I explored it’s twin, hate inclusive of self hate too.
We are all souls this incarnation who arrived from Love and fell asleep to it.The rest of the Cosmos operates on the frequency of Love (Unity as One with Source). We agreed to explore pain and suffering (Separation) along with the miracle and beauty of living on this gorgeous jewel, Mother Earth.
We are now remembering Love. The time finally arrived. We do so by acknowledging what we found here in our lives. Hate is one of the experiences we found. Look for it in yourself. Bring it to the light. Doing so will transfigure you and your relationships, which then transfigures us All. It’s what you came here to do.
Always with my love, Amber