I double-dog dare you to own your thoughts and feelings. I will wait right here while you say to yourself “what is she talking about? I totally OWN my thoughts and feelings.” And then when a tiny hint of curiosity occurs as to why I write this, only then are you to read further.
You are now ready to begin to imagine that for most of your life your thoughts and emotions owned you. Your mind is now bending. Perfect. Your mind will need to bend in order to flex away from what you were taught. You were inadvertently taught to allow your thoughts and feelings to run your life virtually unchecked each and every day. And those thoughts and feelings drove your behaviors. If you continue, a word of caution…
This mind-bending comes with an entry-fee but that cost is no where near what you have already paid in terms of pain and suffering due to uncontrolled thinking and feeling and subsequent actions by this point in your life. If you are reading this you are slowly becoming aware that you have paid a huge toll for having unconsciously given over to your thoughts and feelings across a lifetime. What I can tell you is if you self-responsibly harness your thoughts and feelings no matter your life’s circumstances, you will gain serious speed in achieving a sense of well-being. And this sense of well-being is characterized by an unprecedented sense of sustained joy, comfort and lightness of being.
How do I know? Because I too spent most of my life here on earth in much the same way as you have: each day working with a combination of personal circumstances, chattering thoughts, and ever shifting emotions. Non stop. How and why that changed for me is a story for another time.
Back to the entry-fee for making this deep change. My guess is that you will frown at the term ‘self-responsibility’. You have been told since childhood, and usually when you disappointed someone, that you are responsible for yourself. And you were told to be self-responsible by family members and a society that had no real understanding of what it meant either. Along with many of your peers, you made it this far having more or less achieved and succeeded without having a clear understanding of self-responsibility and its role in thoughts and emotions. If you were satisfied with the results you achieved, you would not be reading this.
Here is what I want you to know about how to self-responsibly begin to own your thoughts and emotions:
- Understand that thinking and feeling are innate attributes, among many, to all human beings to be consciously used by you to experience, perceive, and navigate in the world
- Decide that in order to feel better, you need to think better in the moment
- Practice being aware of your thoughts and feelings by noticing them throughout the day and practice shifting away from negative-based to positive-based thoughts and emotions in the moment and notice the effects this practice has on you
- Commit to using your thoughts and feelings to support your sense of well-being
It may help you to think of managing your daily thoughts and emotions as hygiene similar to brushing your teeth and grooming. When you practice doing so enough, like anything else, it becomes a habit. Somewhere in your practice you will begin to notice that you feel more ease, peace, and softness in your life. While much will stay the same, other things will begin to change. People will notice and will ask why you are so calm and seem happier. Then, do us all a favor, tell them what you have been doing.